DMC-I Saw Mommy Cheating

“Vergil-nii?”

A light shined in the room.  One blue eye popped open, then promptly closed and pulled his blanket over his head. He didn’t want to be wakening up at this hour.

“Vergil-nii?”

A grumble crept from the sheet and further pulling of the blanket.

“Vergil-nii? Please wake up!”

The body under the blanket is being shaken awake. Finally, a white head of hair appeared from underneath the blanket. A pair of grumpy blue eyes glared lazily at his awakener.

“I’m up, Dante. What do you want?”

Dante’s feet shuffled in his red-footed pajamas, looking ashamed and about ready to cry.

“You didn’t wet the bed again, did you?”

“No, I didn’t wet my bed again! I used the potty before I went to bed!”

“Well, that’s good to hear, since you drank all that lemonade before bed. At least we don’t have to clean the sheets.”

Dante looked down, blushing red. Vergil’s white eyebrow arched.

“Don’t tell me you pissed over the balcony again…”

“I didn’t pee over the balcony! Jeesh, is that all I am to you!? You’re little twin brother that pisses a lot!?”

Vergil wondered if he should answer that truthfully.

“It’s not about me! It’s about Mommy!”

“Mother?” Vergil sat up immediately.

“It’s horrible, Vergil-nii! Horrible!”

Vergil was concerned, especially when it came to their mother.

“What? What’s wrong with Mother?”

Dante sniffled and his blue eyes became teary.

“I-I-I think she’s cheating on Father.”

Vergil stared at his twin for a moment, and then started chuckling.

“Wow, you’ve told some wild ones, but this…”

“It’s true! I saw her downstairs kissing a man that wasn’t Father!”

“Dante, you know that Mother would never cheat on Father.”

“But it’s true! Mommy was downstairs kissing a man in a red suit and hat with a long white beard! Underneath the mistletoe!”

“You’re supposed to kiss somebody under the mistletoe, Dante.”

“I know that! But do you have to kiss them on the mouth? Huh? With your tongue!?”

“Eww…Gross… How do you kiss with your tongue?”

“I don’t know, but it looks like it can be done!”

“Wait a minute, what did you say the man looked like?”

“He was wearing a red suit and hat with white trim with a long white beard. He also smelled like candy and sugar cookies.”

Vergil pushed back his blanket, jumped down from his bed and walked over to the bookshelf.

“Vergil-nii, what are you doing with our books from when we were two?”

“You’re description sounded vaguely familiar to me, so I thought I’d check to make sure.”

The rustling of picture books was the only sound between the two boys until Vergil found what he was looking for.

“Was this the man you saw?”

Vergil opened the book to a widespread picture of Santa Claus.

“That’s him! That’s who was kissing Mommy! I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus!”

Vergil promptly closed the book with a snap. He then replaced the book onto the shelf and headed towards his bed.

“Vergil-nii? Where are you going?”

“Back to bed, where you should be.”

“But, what about Mommy and Santa Claus! Shouldn’t we tell Father?”

“You tell Father. You started this.”

Dante looked at his feet and was sniffling again. Vergil groaned.

“What’s wrong now?”

“I can’t find him. I went to find him first, but he wasn’t in bed or his library. I couldn’t find him anywhere. That’s why I came to you.”

“Liar. You always come to me first when you think something is wrong.”

“But, I can’t tell Father this! It’ll hurt him and him and Mommy might… might… get…g-get…!”

Dante was fully crying now. Vergil groaned again and walked towards his little brother.

“That’s never going to happen and you know it.”

He hugged his little brother for good measure.

“Mother and Father love each other too much, and us for that matter, to hurt each like that. You see that as much as I do. For Mother to cheat on Father so callously… it just doesn’t seem right. There must be some other explanation for this.”

Dante was quiet for a moment, taking in his older twin’s words. He then had a dark thought.

“Vergil-nii, do you remember when Mommy told us that not all stories that we read aren’t always true? Like how the Bogeyman doesn’t exist, and how the Easter bunny really doesn’t poop bunny pellets and calls it chocolate eggs?”

Vergil made a weird face.

“I don’t know where you got that from, but what’s your point?”

“What if the stories about Santa Claus aren’t true? What if some of them are made up only to cover up the horrible truth?”

“Again, Dante, what are you talking about?”

“We know that Santa takes presents to children all over the world without wanting anything in return, right?”

“Right…”

“Well… what if he does get something in return?”

“Like what?”

Dante thought about it for a moment.

“Why do we have blue eyes and white hair?”

“Because Father’s human form has white hair and blue eyes.”

“Yes, but… Father can change that if he wants to. He showed us that he was a shape-shifter.”

“And we’ll inherit those powers when we’re old enough. What’s your point?”

“What if Father isn’t the only person with white hair and blue eyes?”

Vergil was quiet for a moment. Mother had told them the true story of where babies come from so…

“You don’t think…”

“That we aren’t…”

“And all this time…”

“Father never knew…”

Both boys’ imaginations were spinning out of control.

“Are we…”

“Sons of Santa Claus…?”

“How long has this been going on? To how many more Mothers?”

“We have to save Mommy! For Father! And other Mommies!”

Vergil nodded curtly.

“We’ll go find Yamato and Rebellion. Maybe they’ll help us.”

“And Father’s guns! Luce and Umbra! We’ll need everything to help Mommy!”

“All right, you get Luce and Umbra. I’ll get Yamato since it’s easier to lift Rebellion.”

“Don’t insult Rebellion! He’s just as good as Yamato!”

“Just get the guns, Dante!”

Both boys raced to their Father’s study where his weapons were kept. Dante climbed a shelf, snitched Umbra, and handed it down to Vergil. He then took Luce and jumped down quietly.

“Where are Rebellion and Yamato?”

“I don’t know, they weren’t in their usual cases…”

“Maybe Father has found out about Santa and went to fight for Mommy’s honor?”

“Then why would he leave Luce and Umbra behind?”

“I don’t know, maybe he forgot?”

“Father doesn’t forget things easily.”

“I don’t know. When he gets angry, he can be forgetful.”

“True. But what does it matter? We are going to go help Mother and Father up against Santa Claus.”

Dante looked down, a stern look on his four year old face.

“You ready?”

Dante loaded Luce and looked up with a flick of arrogant confidence.

“Let’s rock.”

Vergil nodded, loaded Umbra, and started towards the stairs. Dante turned to follow. Both boys began to tiptoe down the stairs.

“Are you sure about this? They’re our babies…”

Vergil and Dante paused, crouching down low.

“It was bound to happen to sometime, Eva. They are growing faster than even I imagined.”

“I know, it just that…So soon?”

“They’ll understand. I believe that they are old enough.”

“I hope you’re right.”

There was a pause, a moment of strained silence.

“You know, you are pretty sexy in that shade of red.”

“Is this really necessary?”

“C’mon, the boys are four! Let them believe like four years old.”

A sigh was heard. Dante looked at Vergil, who nodded forward. They crept further down the stairs, Luce and Umbra in hand. Soon, Eva and the evil Santa Claus were in sight. The twins took aim.

“For Father,” Vergil whispered.

“For Mommy,” Dante whispered back.

They pulled their respective triggers.

What happened next, both boys will never forget. Santa’s head turned the split second he heard the guns click. Then he moved faster than either boy could blink and pushed Eva to the ground. Twin holes appeared on the opposite wall.

“Sparda! What the hell!?”

“I believe we were just shot at, my lady.”

Dante and Vergil looked at each other. My Lady was Father’s nickname for their Mother. They both turned to see their parents looking right at them. Sparda raised a questioning eyebrow. Eva was just pissed.

“Dante! Vergil! What the hell are you two doing!? With your Father’s guns? You know you’re not supposed to even touch them!”

“B-but…”

“No excuses, Dante. I want the truth. Both of you, get down here this minute.”

Again, Dante and Vergil looked at each other, then at the ground, walking down the rest of the stairs. They both solemnly handed the guns back to their father.

“Now, answer me truthfully. Why are both of you out of bed and with your father’s guns?”

“We couldn’t find Yamato or Rebellion…”

“Dante…”

Vergil sighed quietly, wondering if he really should tell the whole truth.

“Vergil?”

The boy was quiet for a moment before opening his mouth again.

“It started when Dante wet his bed again.”

“Vergil-nii!!!!!”

“Vergil…”

“Well, it did. Dante was coming to me to ask for help when he heard something down stairs. He went down to investigate and saw that… he thought you were kissing someone other than Father. He told me what he saw and we… we somehow convinced ourselves that we should help you gain back your honor from the supposed evil Santa Claus. That’s why we are out of bed, why we have Father’s guns, and why we shot at you. You’re welcome.”

Eva stared at him in amazement. He really doesn’t think like a four-year-old. He certainly is more eloquent. Eva sighed.

“I appreciate you boys having the need to protect me, really I do, but you don’t need to come to my rescue every time you think my honor is at stake. Next time, if you think there’s a problem, just come to your Dad or me and say it out right. We won’t love you any less because of it. Probably even more so than we do now.”

Dante looked down, shame clearly marking his face.

“I’m sorry.”

Eva looked at Vergil expectantly.

“What? I didn’t do anything.”

“You shot at your father, too.”

“I didn’t know it was him! Besides, he dodged it!”

“Vergil…”

The boy grumbled his apology.

“So we can hear you.”

“I heard him.”

“Not now, Dante.”

“I’m sorry for shooting at Father and jumping to conclusions.”

Eva smiled slightly and hugged her oldest boy. She turned to whisper in his ear.

“But thanks for caring about me. You don’t know how much it means to me. Thanks for taking responsibility, Vergil.”

The boy blushed brightly, unsure what to do next. He then looked at Dante in his father’s arms.

“I have a question. Why did Father shape-shift into Santa Claus?”

Eva giggled softly at that and picked up Vergil into her arms.

“I thought it was a good idea for him to transform for you two in the morning to give you presents. Guess it didn’t work out as well as I had hoped. I probably scarred you two for life.”

Sparda had changed back into his regular human form, but his clothing was still that of St. Nicholas.

“Probably not, my Lady. These two are quite resilient.”

Eva grinned.

“That’s our boys.”

Dante grinned with pride. Vergil smirked.

“Speaking of presents, I believe now would be a good time for these.”

Sparda turned and on the back wall was Rebellion and Yamato. The boys were practically salivating.

“I know it’s a bit early, but I think both of you are ready for the responsibility of Yamato and Rebellion. I want you to take very good care of them for me. Will you do that?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Oh, yes, sir!”

“All right… they’re yours.”

Both boys jumped down from their parents’ arms, reaching for a sword: Rebellion for Dante, and Yamato for Vergil. Sparda walked towards Eva and put his arm around her.

“You are still uncertain?”

“Is it that obvious?”

Sparda chuckled good-naturedly.

“With you, every thing is obvious.”

“Mind-reader.”

“No, just a lot of healthy practice.”

“Yes, lots and lots of practice. And plenty of time to do it in.”

“And just what you implying?”

“You know just what I’m implying.”

Eva giggled quietly at her own joke. She suddenly became quiet.

“Anything troubling you, My Lady?”

“I just… I’m getting the feeling that you’re going to leave us soon. Like giving the boys Yamato and Rebellion, and me the amulet. I know you don’t like getting things in return but…I feel like such a cheapskate when I don’t give you anything.”

Sparda smiled softly and lifted Eva’s head in his hand.

“You and the boys’ happiness is all I could ever ask for. To know that all is right in the world is enough.”

“Except that all isn’t right the world, is it?”

Sparda lowered his hand.

“No…No, I’m afraid not.”

Eva sighed softly.

“Jeesh, you feed a guy pancakes once and the world suddenly comes crumbling around you.”

”Demons are quite susceptible to the power of pancakes. You didn’t know.”

“Heh. If only there were enough pancakes for every demon in hell.”

“If only, my Lady. If only.”

They both turned to see their boys in their own little world of wonder with their new toys. Both parents smiled warmly. Then Eva had an evil thought.

”What would you have done, if you found out I was cheating on you?”

Sparda looked at her for a moment, thinking.

”Should I really say, with the boys so near by? I could give them ideas.”

”Since when you do you care about giving the boys ideas?”

The demon pulled her close and whispered in her ear. Eva couldn’t stop giggling.

“Sorry, I know it’s so morbidly gruesome and grotesque, but sickeningly sweet coming from you.”

Sparda smirked.

”Wait until I tell you what I plan to do to you.”

Eva was giddy.